


Working Through It

by Noteventhat (Facialteeth)



Series: Rarepairs [12]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Domestic Fluff, Empath Jace, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus POV, Making Up, Mind Reader Magnus, Multi, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mutant Powers, Relationship Problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28737402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facialteeth/pseuds/Noteventhat
Summary: Magnus’ ability had caused problems in every single relationship Magnus had ever had and he had no clue why he expected his relationship with his boyfriends to be any different.Magnus is a mind reader and sometimes that causes problems.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Series: Rarepairs [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915978
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	Working Through It

Magnus’ ability had caused problems in every single relationship Magnus had ever had and he had no clue why he expected his relationship with his boyfriends to be any different. Maybe, he hadn’t expected it because of how easily Jace accepted what Magnus could do. Jace, like Magnus, had an ability that he struggled to control. So, maybe that’s why he was so accepting of it every time Magnus popped into his head and heard what he was thinking.

Jace was a pretty open person anyway. He didn’t feel violated when Magnus would hear what he was thinking about because most of the time, it was nothing he wouldn’t say out loud anyway. Even when they fought, Jace wasn’t upset when Magnus let his emotions get to him and he slipped into his thoughts on accident. To Jace, it was almost easier. If Magnus was reading his thoughts, then he simply didn’t need to say it out loud.

Besides, Jace understood what it felt like to lose control like that. Jace’s power was less invasive than Magnus’ but he still affected people by accident. Jace was an empath. He could feel what other people felt but when he was excited or sad or any other extreme emotion, he made people around him feel what he was feeling. Alec was always okay with that. He didn’t mind when Jace lost control and forced his emotions on Alec because Jace’ power revealed more about himself than it did about other people. It wasn’t like Magnus reading people’s most private thoughts without their permission.

But Magnus couldn’t control it either. Alec didn’t like it when Magnus read his thoughts but Magnus never did it on purpose. He respected Alec’s wishes and he’d never do it on purpose but when he was upset or if _Alec_ was upset, it was so hard not to. When Alec was upset, his thoughts were just so loud and if Magnus was upset, he completely lost control of his powers. He’d read every thought in Alec’s head without meaning to and he couldn’t stop himself until he calmed down again and he got away from Alec completely.

Magnus understood why Alec didn’t like it but he didn’t understand why Alec was so mad at him about it. He couldn’t control it any better than Jace could control his powers and it wasn’t like Magnus wasn’t trying. He was working on it. He was trying to learn to control himself better but it was just so hard.

Besides, Alec didn’t have any power. He didn’t understand how it felt to be able to do something to other people that you couldn't control. He didn’t understand how hard it was to live in a city with so many people thinking all the time. He didn’t understand how it felt to have someone else's thoughts so close to you that if you relaxed at all, you could hear them but Jace did.

Or well, Jace could feel how frustrated Magnus got sometimes. He could feel how Magnus felt the morning after he and Alec’s big fight, in which Magnus had read Alec’s mind on accident and yelled at him about something he’d thought. He could also feel how angry Alec was that next morning, when he’d gotten up and slammed things around in the kitchen as he cooked breakfast.

It must have been a great morning for Jace, being able to feel them both so intensely but when Jace woke up, he didn’t show it. He walked out of the bedroom and made his way over to where Magnus was sitting, pretending to do work on his laptop so he could avoid the kitchen where Alec was without seeming like he was doing it.

Magnus normally sat with Alec while he cooked breakfast. Jace normally slept in, so it had become their routine but today, Magnus could tell he’d be unwelcome. That or they’d start fighting again, which Magnus did not feel like doing.

Jace leaned in and pressed a sleepy kiss against Magnus’ cheek. Instantly, Magnus felt a small burst of pleasure that he knew was not his own. Jace was never great at controlling himself in the morning when he was still tired. Bitterly, Magnus thought to himself that he wasn’t upset at what Jace had done but in the rational part of his brain, he knew it was a little different.

Jace mumbled a good morning before he was making his way to the kitchen, where Magnus overheard him going through the same routine with Alec, who only hummed in response. Alec wasn’t mad at Jace but that’s just how he was when he was upset. He shut himself off to the world.

It was a few minutes later that Jace reemerged from the kitchen, carrying two plates in his hands. Magnus knew that Alec had handed Jace his plate because he hadn’t wanted to go give it to him. Magnus was both upset about that and a little relieved, until Jace put their plates down, told Magnus to put his laptop away and called for Alec to come eat with them, like nothing was wrong at all.

There were a few moments of silence after Jace said it. It was clear Alec hadn’t intended to eat anywhere near them or more specifically, anywhere near Magnus but after a few seconds, Alec appeared in the doorway and made his way to the table, where he put his own plate down and stiffly took a seat.

Magnus always loved breakfast with his boyfriends. Ever since they’d gotten together, breakfast had been a time they’d spend together, regardless of how busy they’d be for the rest of the day but today, Magnus found himself wishing he had some convenient excuse to eat his food as quickly as possible and leave but he didn’t.

Alec and Jace both knew Magnus had the entire day free. They all also knew that Alec had nowhere to be and Jace’s only plans for the day was going to the gym later. Maybe, if Alec didn’t go with him Magnus could go and pretend it wasn’t to avoid being alone with Alec but he knew they’d all know that’s why he’d gone. Magnus didn’t like working out at the gym. There were too many people there. All the thoughts gave Magnus a headache and he preferred yoga anyway.

Still, if this was how the rest of the day was going to go, Magnus would rather be anywhere else. The tension in the air was practically suffocating but Jace acted like everything was fine anyway. Jace thanked Alec for cooking, something Magnus mumbled after him, and then he went on talking about something Izzy had told him the day before. He rambled like Alec wasn’t stabbing his fork into his plate hard enough that Magnus was scared he’d break it and then, after they’d all finished eating, Jace took their plates and announced he’d go wash them and then be right back.

Magnus could have stood up and left but it was clear that Jace had meant to leave them both alone on purpose and it was clear he said he’d be back to make sure they didn’t leave. Alec didn’t get up, so Magnus felt like he couldn’t either but that didn’t mean he didn’t have the urge to jump and flee the moment Jace left the room.

It was clear Alec wasn’t planning on speaking to him and Magnus didn’t know what to say to start the conversation himself. Magnus was equally as upset that Alec blamed him for something he couldn’t control and upset at himself because he understood why Alec was upset.

Magnus hadn’t meant to read his mind. He couldn’t control that but he could control how he reacted. He knew shouldn’t have said anything about what Alec had thought, even if it upset him. He should have just left but he hadn’t and now, he was sitting at a table across from his boyfriend who he’d never really fought with, feeling like he was going to choke on the silence around them.

Magnus had just been hoping to sit silently until Jace came back but he surprised himself because after so long of sitting there, Magnus couldn’t take it anymore. He felt like he’d be willing to spit anything out if it just made this horribly tense moment go away.

In the end, what Magnus spit out was what he probably should have just said in the first place. It was an apology, even rushed and behind forceful lips. “I’m sorry,” he said, his hands twisting together on the table. His words sounded like they were coming more from anger than remorse but Magnus couldn’t make himself say it any better. It was hard to force himself to say it at all. Tone certainly wasn’t on the top of Magnus’ priority list but still, Magnus cringed after he spoke, not even looking up to see if Alec reacted. He wouldn’t blame Alec for not forgiving him, if he was going to say it like that.

For a few long moments, it almost seemed like Alec wasn’t going to say anything at all but finally, Magnus heard Alec shift and then, he spoke stiffly, “For?”

Magnus swallowed, digging his fingernail into his thumb. “I shouldn’t have said anything about what you thought,” Magnus forced out. “I’m not sorry I read your mind," he snapped after a beat of silence. He wouldn't apologize for something he hadn't done on purpose. “I can’t control it but I-” Magnus twisted his hands in lap a little more, leaving his skin red where he was touching himself. “I shouldn’t have said anything about it and I should have told you I couldn’t control myself.”

Magnus could feel Alec looking at him across the table but he couldn’t force himself to look up. “Yes, you should have,” Alec said at last, not sounding like he forgave Magnus exactly but sounding like he was listening at the very least.

Magnus took a deep breath and finally looked up, frowning as he looked Alec in the eyes for the first time since the day before. He’d been doing his best to avoid him completely for hours. “I’m sorry, Alec,” he said again, something a bit more honest and desperate in his voice this time. “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”

Across from him, Alec took in a slow breath. He shifted, looking as if he was thinking hard about exactly what he wanted to say. “I know you can’t control it all the time, Magnus,” Alec said finally. He _did_ know. It was something they talked about a lot. It was something that disrupted Magnus’ life a lot. It was something that disrupted their collective life together. Alec knew how hard it was for Magnus to live when he couldn’t relax without hearing what everyone around him was thinking. He knew Magnus didn’t mean to do it and he knew that Magnus’ past partners had been less than understanding about it but that didn’t mean Alec didn’t deserve privacy in his own head.

“I know you’re going to read my mind sometimes and when you slip and do it on accident, it’s okay but when we’re _fighting-_ ” Alec broke off, taking another deep breath. “You need to tell me when that slip happens, so we can stop and keep talking when you calm down. You can’t read my mind when we’re fighting and yell at me about what I think.”

Magnus flinched, nodding instantly. “I know,” he said finally. “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you next time.”

They both fell silent for a few long moments and then, Magnus heard Alec rising from his chair and walking around the table. Magnus looked up and watched him, frowning as Alec came and crouched next to Magnus, gently taking Magnus’ hands into his own and he stared up at him.

“I love you, Magnus,” Alec said, squeezing Magnus’ hands softly. “I’m never going to be mad at you about what you can’t control but you just have to tell me, okay?”

Magnus nodded and almost instantly, Alec was moving to wrap his arms around Magnus and pull him tight against his neck. Magnus went bonelessly, curling into Alec’s touch. Instantly, Magnus felt his chest hiccup and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t like crying especially so easily, especially when he was trying to apologize to Alec but he couldn’t help himself.

He was just so scared that Alec was going to get sick of dealing with him. He was so scared he’d leave and force Jace to decide between them and choose who he’d rather go with. He was so scared that Jace wouldn’t choose him and then, Magnus would be entirely alone _again_.

As if he was reading Magnus’ thoughts, Alec murmured, “I’m not going to leave, Magnus. We just need to work on this, okay?” Alec’s hand up and then down Magnus’ back, making Magnus’ breath shutter even more.

Magnus curled tighter against Alec’s neck and then, he heard Alec’s thoughts fluttering against his own, drifting into his head like they belonged there. Magnus didn’t even hear anything. He just felt the feeling of Alec’s thoughts in his head and then, he was pushing gently against Alec’s chest. “I can hear you,” Magnus said, trying to push Alec away again.

Alec did nothing but tighten his grip. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Listen.”

Magnus relaxed somewhat with the permission, his back still stiff, his hands clenched in Alec’s shirt. “I love you,” Magnus heard Alec say, not out loud. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus relaxed into Alec’s skin completely but it was only a few moments later that Magnus felt something else, a small burst of happiness that had certainly not come from him. When Magnus pulled away from Alec and looked up, he found Jace standing there, grinning at the sight of him and Alec embracing.

Instantly, Alec rolled his eyes and let go of Magnus as he moved to stand. Their moment was thoroughly interrupted and ruined but the air was light and happy all of a sudden, something it hadn’t been since the day before.

“I’m glad you made up,” Jace said, as if it wasn’t incredibly obvious to them both exactly how Jace felt about it. Jace ducked forward to press a kiss against Magnus’ lips and then Alec’s, leaving another small burst of his feeling as he did so, making Magnus laugh and Alec smile.

It wasn’t always easy dealing with Magnus’ ability but at the very least, Magnus knew that Alec wasn’t going to get sick of him and leave because it, like some others in his life had. He knew that Alec and Jace would be there even if he fucked up and maybe, someday Magnus would even have a disagreement with them and still remember that.

Magnus rose to his feet and let Jace drag him into the living room, with Alec following behind them, listening to Jace insist they had to watch a movie together before their day off was lost completely. Magnus didn’t really have any complaints about that. He was just happy he hadn’t managed to destroy one of the best things he had in his life, at least not yet.

Jace skipped the gym. They spent the rest of the day watching bad movies, listening to Alec complain about how bad they were and Jace argue that they weren’t _that_ horrible and Magnus really wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Shrug. Came to me in a fevered dream.


End file.
